He works the Night Shift

Early this morning I had a dream that was important to me. I don't remember dreams often, but this was vivid. Thought I'd share because it was one of those conscious/subconscious/body/soul/spirit kinds of deals.

Through some events in the dream, all the emotion and pain of the events in recent months (cancer, deciding not to be foster parents, etc.) welled up inside me. I was in the middle of a forest clearing on a dark, starry night and I was yelling “WHY” at the top of my lungs. “Why are You letting these things happen to me?”

The phrase “I hate you God” was proposed to me from somewhere, but I yelled “I hate having to go through this!” instead. I kept yelling “Why” “Why are You letting these things happen to me?” “I hate having to go through this!” over and over.

In my mind, I was kind of awake and aware in bed, but obviously not awake. After a time I was crumpled on the ground. I got a sense that it was OK and even expected that I would have been doing this and that God understands. His Spirit comforts me and in my dream feel like I'm back in bed with Jeanah next to me, her head on my shoulder, warm and snuggly.

Then I woke up...2:10am A few minutes later, my Chemo pump beeped telling me it's low on Chemo. This is OK as I'm heading into the doctor at 1pm today to get it refilled.

Later I had another dream. I don't usually share this type of thing, but I got the very real sense I was to pray for the people of Ames, Iowa that they would be able to endure a natural disaster that was coming.

Thanks for listening! God understands us, knows our needs, and He comforts us in time of need.